9th Post

As I sit down to write tonight, I am having a hard time.  I am fighting back the tears because I am missing my little girl more than usual tonight.  Sometimes the pain of not being able to hug her and tickle her and hear her little laugh, is incapacitating.  My heart is in pain tonight, and while I want to write about my sweet little girl, I don't feel like I can talk about the accident.  

I do want to tell Paige how much I love her and miss her.  I walk around my quiet, empty home and see her beautiful little face everywhere I turn.  I look at my couch where she used to run and flip over like she was doing a vault in gymnastics.  I giggle everytime I look at the shudders on my front windows, with her teeth marks on the bottom slats where she bit everyone of them.  If I ever move, those shudders will be coming with me.  I see her smiling with her best friend, McKenzie...they were inseparable.  Then as I look at the pictures of my boys and the smiles on their faces while sitting with their little sister, my heart becomes full.  

As tears stream down my face, I think of my little sweetheart, her funny little personality, how we would read stories just about every night and the cuddles in the middle of the night, just because she was there.  I miss you Paige so much, it is hard for me to understand why you had to leave this earth, but I am so happy for you.  It is hard for those of us left behind, but I know you are in a much better place.  

Chase, Stefan and Paige...thank you for choosing me to be your mom, Heavenly Father smiled down on me the day he entrusted you to me, and I am eternally grateful.

I love you!